Had an appointment to see a counsellor through occupational health this morning. It was actually surprisingly useful. It was reassuring to talk things through with someone who seemed to understand how much I’d been stressing myself out and who described what I did as a “desperate act”. The worst thing about all of this has been trying to explain to people why I messed around with stuff. Why I tried to cover up a mistake that would, in the end, have been forgiven. The counsellor lady was incredibly sympathetic, understanding and managed to make me feel like I’m not a total psycho and this sort of thing could happen to anyone.
Gave myself permission to have an afternoon off from the regular work of feeling guilty and shit. Read a magazine, had a bath and watched The Talented Mr Ripley, which I remembered as having a happy ending. It does not.
Made a yummy chicken and veg stir fry with my special sauce*, had a beer and am waiting for the Election Debate to start.
EDIT: Due to my being a COMPLETE GENIUS, I’ve just noticed that everything I thought I’d posted in the last week and a half has somehow become a Draft instead. Not that anyone’s reading anything, but still.
*a genius combination of peanut butter, sweet chilli sauce and lime juice