I am, I feel

It’s easy to do nothing. To read a novel, watch the telly, wallow in the bath. It’s surprisingly hard to focus on your own thoughts and dreams and desires.

I feel as though I’m living a small, small life and I don’t know why. I feel like I’ve lost the essential me. I don’t know if I ever knew the essential me. It’s not like everything I am was wrapped up in work, and it’s my only source of validation. Now it seems that the busyness of work and life was distracting me from the fact that I’ve lost myself somewhere.

I have no Grand Passion. Not even a Small Passion. There’s nothing that makes me leap out of bed in the morning. Nothing that I’m obsessed with. Nothing that I can channel my energy into. I’m at a time in my life where I should feel like I have the world at my feet. I have money, youth, health, vitality and people around to support and adore me. I should be setting the world on fire, or at least my small part of it. Instead I spend my days waiting to go back to bed. And that’s just sad.

I need a passion. For something other than ceaseless introspection.

Advertisements

2 responses to “I am, I feel

  1. I feel the same way!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s