It seems, these days, that every time I’m just about to pull myself out of a funk, something crappy happens. And not Big Crappy either. Just rubbish, silly things that are beyond my control and make me want to retire to bed. I was sitting down to some Real Blogging, to say some stuff that’s been whirling in my mind for days. I was sitting down to work on a Plan, make some decisions, email some people. I was sitting down to do a budget, so I wouldn’t worry so much about everything.
But first, I checked my Facebook. And I found out that, at the Hen Night I’m attending on Saturday, there will be a girl I really really don’t like. For a myriad of reasons, but it essentially comes down to she was mean to me. We shared a house with some other girls (including the Hen) and she turned them against me, and made out that it was all my fault. We all stayed friends as a loose group, but she pretty much spoiled my last year of uni. I wasn’t a girly girl then, and am not now, and don’t really understand the type of bitchy, underhand behaviour she was into. I know it was a result of her low self-esteem, and a peace of sorts was reached, but I’m still not wholly comfortable with actually seeing her again. I’ve kept in touch with the other girls, most of whom will be there, but she’s kept in better touch with them. I guess I’m just scared that I’ll wind up spending money I don’t have on a miserable night out, feeling ostracised and uncomfortable. I’ve committed now, so don’t want to back out at the last minute.
I guess I just need to spend the next couple of days working on my own self-esteem, so that I don’t feel undermined by her. Nice idea in theory, huh?