I am seriously struggling today. Seriously. Struggling. It’s a wet, grey day outside, and it’s a wet, grey day in my head. Forgive me the self-indulgent whine that is forthcoming. I try not to be a dark cloud of misery all over the internet, but c’est la vie.
I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t know how to evaluate my contribution to the household/community/world without having a paid job. I don’t know what to do when my education, qualifications and experience are all worthless. I don’t know how to start again, in a time when employers are firing rather than hiring. I don’t know how to cope with the guilt when my hard working husband can’t go on holiday, because he’s supporting a household on his own. I don’t know how to sustain a lie amongst family members who don’t know about the situation because it would worry them.
I don’t know how to be this person. But I am.